The first decade of this millennium is often heralded as some sort of golden age for children’s films. Sure, most of Pixar’s best flicks came out in this period, and there were some winners in general, but I think people tend to view the films of their own childhood with rose-colored glasses. Most of these films are goddamn godawful. Just HOW goddamn godawful, you ask? Let’s find out together by checking out EVERY kids film between 2000 and 2009. From theatrical to direct-to-DVD to Disney Channel Original, we’ll look at ’em all because I am a glutton for punishment.
This week WE FINISH UP THE YEAR 2000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t know if you heard that, but I just popped one of those new year’s poppers.
I’m also wearing a party hat at an appropriately jaunty angle.
LET’S DO THIS!
TWEETY’S HIGH-FLYING ADVENTURE
So I love the Looney Toons. They were a foremost influence on my comedic sensibilities and I still have a fondness for the characters and concepts of Warner’s animation staples.
So this movie was pretty fun for me. It is…
Wait for it…
An adaptation of Around the World in 80 Days starring Tweety-Bird.
I kinda love that. It’s amazing.
The only downside is that, due to the premise, it’s less a movie and more a series of short sketches taking place in different countries. Again, this is great, but it makes it nigh impossible to review. But each sketch is funny and charming and the voice cast is wonderful.
Any movie where Rob Paulsen plays supplemental roles is a movie I am in favor of. Also it is nominally a musical, although there are maybe three songs total.
Tweet is challanged to circle the globe in 80 days to prove that birds are smarter than cats. He also has to visit specific countries because let’s be honest, circumnavigating the globe in 2000 would just be a 67 hour flight and that’s not super interesting. Sylvester, fearing that some foreign cat will eat Tweety before he gets a chance to, decides to track him down and devour him.
But yeah, fun movie. And Marvin the Martian’s brief appearance made me squeal like a chipmunk so there was also that.
Fuckin’ love Marvin the Martian.
Where is my earth-shattering ka-boom?
UP, UP, AND AWAY
So this one is a weird little time capsule in history. It’s a comedy about superheroes that was made BEFORE the big superhero movie boom. This means it, weirdly enough, isn’t parodying modern comic book movies but instead the comic books they’re based on.
I know that doesn’t sound like a big deal but it winds up completely changing how the resulting movie turns out. And the resulting movie is… fine enough.
It’s a story about a young boy about to reach his fourteenth birthday. But, since his family is composed entirely of superpowered people and he’s running out of time to develop powers, we have an actual plot. So by that virtue, it’s better than every other DCOM I’ve watched this year.
Also, it takes place in a Roger Rabbit-esque universe where all the other brand name superheroes (like Superman, Green Hornet, and the Fantastic Four) all apparently exist.
Actually, a more accurate comparison would be to Robert Mayer’s obscure 1977 novel Superfolks, but no one woulda got that reference. Cough, cough, fucking buy the book it’s great cough cough.
Anyhoo, our main character who’s name I already forgot discovers that he doesn’t have powers but hey, that’s ok because he can be a hero anyway. This shouldn’t be a revelation in a world where Batman apparently comes over for dinner twice a month but whatever. So yeah, it’s essentially Moon Shadow’s character arc from PS238 (oh for fuck sake).
But no, I kinda liked this one. Part of that miiiiiiiiiiight be the fact that I watched it while playing Saints Row 2 but shut up this is free, I’ll do it how ever I want.
But yeah, with that we’ve reached the end of movies from the year 2000. Next week, I’ll celebrate with something special, but after that, it’ll be time to delve into the far off future year of 2001.