Why, 2K?!- “Monsters, Inc.” and “Motocrossed”

The first decade of this millennium is often heralded as some sort of golden age for children’s films. Sure, most of Pixar’s best flicks came out in this period, and there were some winners in general, but I think people tend to view the films of their own childhood with rose-colored glasses. Most of these films are goddamn godawful. Just HOW goddamn godawful, you ask? Let’s find out together by checking out EVERY kids film between 2000 and 2009. From theatrical to direct-to-DVD to Disney Channel Original, we’ll look at ’em all because I am a glutton for punishment.

This week, an outright classic and another DCOM. A welcome change of pace from last week.

MONSTERS, INC.

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Oh thank god a good movie. And our first Pixar flick of Why, 2K?! so good one to start out with.

The film is about– ok, well, we all know what the film is about because we’ve all seen it, but I gotta summarize it anyway because that is how this works.

The film follows Mike and Sully, two monsters working for Monsters, Inc., a company devoted to scaring the ever-loving shit out of human children to serve as a power source for their city. The movie skims over this, but I find it unforgivably unsettling. “A city that runs on screams” sounds like a thing from an H.P. Lovecraft story, not a Pixar movie. Although, in fairness, if it was an H.P. Lovecraft story, it woulda been much more antisemitic.

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Mike and Sully wind up accidentally letting in a human child, who they call Boo, and hi jinx ensue as they try to get her home. The movie itself is incredibly fun and charming and really sweet. The last moments are perfectly done and Sully and Boo’s relationship is pitch perfect. Also great is Mike, just as a character in his own right. he’s wonderful and Billy Crystal really nails his portrayal. John Goodman is Sully, but John Goodman is literally always great so that shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. Also Steve Buscemi. That is all.

Once again, Pixar’s strength is in their attention to detail and world building skill. It isn’t cluttered, but there remains so much frickin’ imagination packed into every shot its hard not to get a creative buzz off of it.  The background detail in this movie blows me away.

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Also, it’s a really solid buddy comedy. As I’ve already addressed, Goodman and Crystal are great on their own, but it’s as a duo that they really shine, bouncing off each other in really fun ways. They actually feel like best friends, which is necessary for a movie like this.

It’s much harder to talk about a good movie than a bad one, and this one’s pretty darn good. If you’ve somehow never seen it, you really should.

Stupid Pixar, being all great at making movies and stuff.

MOTOCROSSED

motocrosseed

Yep, I sure did watch this movie.

Sure did.

And, like a lot of these Disney Channel Original Movies, it is a nonentity. Nothing of note happens. It’s about a girl who motocross races while posing as her brother because she loves motocross and blah blah blah.

She proves that she can race as well as anyone else and even when she’s exposed she still blah blah blah.

There is nothing about this that could shock me.

Except that, according to wikipedia, it’s an official adaptation of Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night.

What what WHAT?

It’s Shakespeare with motocross. Because apparently this was made for a literacy campaign aimed at kewl nineties teens.

Radical.

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                                      God, reading is totally tubular, dudes and dudettes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But yeah, that’s the only thing of note. Motocross Shakespeare. Not the worst band name, to be honest.

Ugh, I’m sick.

That has nothing to do with this movie but it’s true.

So yeah, in conclusion, reading is “the-bomb-dot-net” or whatever the cool kids say.

Next week, we watch a movie I’m not looking forward to.

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