BEFORE WE GET INTO THIS: I have a kickstarter that’s currently searching for funds. It’s for a comedy web series about friends and interventions, so if you find this thing I do funny, consider throwing us a few bucks, I’d really appreciate it. https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/708820076/youve-got-a-problem?ref=user_menu
The first decade of this millennium is often heralded as some sort of golden age for children’s films. Sure, most of Pixar’s best flicks came out in this period, and there were some winners in general, but I think people tend to view the films of their own childhood with rose-colored glasses. Most of these films are goddamn godawful. Just HOW goddamn godawful, you ask? Let’s find out together by checking out EVERY kids film between 2000 and 2009. From theatrical to direct-to-DVD to Disney Channel Original, we’ll look at ’em all because I am a glutton for punishment.
This week, WE DID IT!!!!! WE FINISHED 2001!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
And of course this year would go out with an Olsen twins movie. Winning London follows Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, who are playing do you actually care, because I feel like if I give you their character names, you’re just going to immediately forget them. So Mary-Kate and Ashley are typical students, and both sign up to be a part of the Model UN competition in London, England. While there, each one falls in love with a different boy, one a dumbass american, the other the son of a lord.
Also, one of the Model UN tests is to see how they handle a fake terrorist attack?! That seems like a bad idea??? Someone also uses the line “we will not negotiate with terrorists”.
This movie sure did come out in March of 2001. I am not shocked by the fact this didn’t come out any later that year.
The movie in itself isn’t terrible. Like, it’s the right kind of formulaic that results in a likable flick.
Look, it has “Just Can’t Get Enough” in it. That instantly earns it a lotta points from me. But if you’re super put off by montages, maybe pick a different feature to spend your time on.
Overall, it’s, like, fine?
Next week, we welcome a new era of this column.
Now entering: 2002.